Hey guys! One of my sweet friends Emily Eisa has an incredible new single out on called “Exactly Where” – I love supporting my friends and sharing with you guys what I’m into at the moment! So I asked her to share a little bit about her story with us on the site! I can’t even imagine how many of you will be able to relate to her and her music! ENJOY! And thanks, Em! https://soundcloud.com/user-459322733/exactly-where
One of the scariest things in life is letting go. Letting go of the person that’s walking out of your life. Letting go of the fear you’ve been trying to control. Letting go of who you’re trying so hard to be, and letting yourself, people, and things just be. Because they are the way they are and you can’t always control that.
I learned that when the anxiety I’d been struggling with rose to it’s peak last year. Many nights were spent awake until 5am with my heart pounding, feeling sick to my stomach, just sitting up in bed unable to sleep. I was afraid and had never felt so out of control. I didn’t understand why I had to deal with this, and why it wasn’t going away. I watched all my friends go on trips, dates, living their life (seemingly) worry free. Meanwhile, I felt I was stuck in a box feeling too anxious and depressed to do any of those things.“Why me? Other people don’t struggle with this. Why am I so alone? This is stupid and irrational. I wish I didn’t feel like this. No one else feels this way. Why won’t this go away? I feel like God doesn’t follow up with his promises, because if he did I wouldn’t be dealing with this!!!” (my inner dialogue).
I had to finally come to the understanding that my heart needed healing. I had to recognize that I was in pain because something needed to be healed. I had to be ok with the pain instead of spending all my time wishing I wasn’t. If you cut your finger, would you spend all your time yelling at the cut, wishing it was gone, and getting mad if it didn’t suddenly disappear? No. You would take care of your hand, bandaging it, and giving it the attention it needs. Why are our feelings any different? You are in pain because something needs healing. Don’t hate the pain, but take it as a signal that your heart needs attention and love. Being angry at yourself for where you’re at is counterproductive. Trust me, I’m preaching to myself right now!
I got through last year and I can say I’m so much better than before! My new single came out of the joy AND the pain. The darkness and the light! And think you’ll hear both of those things when you listen to it. You’ll hear the anxiety and the peace. The blues and the mean reds! (If you get that reference I’ll love you forever.)
I don’t understand most things, but I do understand that God is good. It hurts him to see his children suffering, and wants you to be free probably more than you do. He cares about the ones you love more than you do because he made them. Understand this, looks are deceiving and so are feelings. It doesn’t look or feel like God cares, but he does. He loves you even when you hate him. He feels your pain with you. Do not be fooled by the perfect faces we put on. Every person you pass is fighting a battle in the mind and if we were all honest, we’d all be a lot less lonely. The good news is that this doesn’t last forever. Jesus is defending you. His prized possession, his kid. So take heart! He knows where your beauty and where your pain lies. Exactly where. XO Emily